Going Places With Four Children

 Going places with four children is not the same as going places alone.....

The Post Office
There is always a line. You can’t step out of the line for one split second or you have to go to the end of the line. It’s like waiting at the water fountain in second grade. And one out of the four will need to go the bathroom. And one of the four will manage to hurt themselves on nothing right there in the line. And one of the children will be very loud about something and it echoes. And someone will take a very very long time to mail and very very tiny packag.

Hobby Lobby 

Over Stimulation Station. The door opens and it is over. Things start falling to the floor before we even get a chance to put all of our feet in the actual store part. There are at least 10 things that we must have immediately even though we didn’t know they existed five minutes ago. There will be a need to spill something. There are things to spill in Hobby Lobby. Someone will have to go the bathroom. Someone will need to have a craft idea that requires the purchase of lots of little things in little packages. I will not be able to pull up the 40% coupon fast enough on my phone before Hannah is 100% finished with Hobby Lobby and ready to leave by throwing her body weight to the ground while I am trying to download a coupon on my phone. Do they really need me to give them those four numbers? Don’t they know it? It would save a lot of people a lot of time if they just had the number ready to rock right there at the cash register.

The Library

Someone will have to use the bathroom. The two littles will manage to pull 40 books off the shelf for me to read to them right then and there. The person in front of us will not only check out 200 books, they will have a book on hold and have a question about the computers and the upcoming events. When it is finally time for us to check out, they will inform me that we have a book that has not been returned and I owe them my life savings. And no I didn’t manage to bring in a bag to carry the books in, so please librarian, stop looking at me like that. And everyone else that is there must never interact with children ever because they are looking at us like we are aliens from a very annoying planet.

Trader Joe's 

 Although more pleasant than the rest, it seems that this excursion takes 10x longer with children. At least two of them need to use the bathroom immediately. Free lolly pops are a big bonus and well as the snacks in the back unless it is slaw or sweet and sour something then they are not fans. And the snacks are so amazing that we must walk very very slowly to savor each little tiny morsel. The little shopping carts are great, but we always forget to check out the stuff in the little shopping cart because it gets left in the dried fruit isle.  And I always forget something very important that I can only get at Trader Joe's.

The Grocery Store 

I just don’t go with all four children and if I do, I threaten that I’m not going again with four children ever again, which lasts about a month.

The Bank

Amelia and George Wilder have a stash of cash they want to unload and we’ve talked about how important this is and that they can handle it on their own and I will be there to sign my name when needed.

We are doing great for about fifteen minutes, but then the stack of papers keeps growing. At this point, Hannah is squealing with delight at the fun she is having on the floor and I realize she filled her diaper. William is hungry and thinks this is terribly boring. Amelia and George Wilder are doing their best to hold on, but the paper work is endless. I don’t know why I thought we would just drop their money off and be out of there in ten. An hour later, we drag ourselves out of the bank with a volume of papers in a folder with the promise that their wad of cash is now safe. They look slightly confused, but proud.

And this is why I would rather just stay at home.