Waiting For Happy To Arrive


Thinking I know what happy means,
I wait for happy to arrive.
It doesn’t.
I think I know it well enough to see it coming.
I’m looking for
A day alone.
A day alone with my love.
No more pain.
A glass of wine.
A nice coffee.
The finished look.
Projects complete.
Time to write or sew or create.
Well behaved children who do exactly as they ought.
Visits from friends and family.
A shower without small fingers and faces poking through the curtain.
An uninterrupted sleep.
A day without interruption.
A full bank account.
Rooms arranged to perfection.
Empty laundry baskets.

Happy doesn’t show up. These don’t soul complete, soul fill, soul delight.
Happy is this life. Happy is delighting. Happy is seeking out past myself and into the lives of others and finding ways to relieve the pain of the oppressed and the hurting and the ones that don’t have. Happy is watching this all unfold neatly or all in a jumble. 

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